Cornell "7" and Continuing Outrage for Women - a social response on why I write.

I’ve carefully thought about my brand and strategy for years- honestly, since I was a little girl trying to create the person that I wanted to be one day. It means everything to me—it is the one thing that is all my own and that I have total control over. I think I knew from the beginning I was going to lose a lot of so-called “friends” along the way- along with becoming estranged from most of my blood family and making a lot of dumb dudes roll their eyes. I am simply not good at keeping my mouth shut about things that I think matter. And guess what? All of those have happened. And I am only getting started.

Social issues- especially those pertaining to trauma are what drive me forward. I care. I am a survivor. And I still feel weird saying that- which shows me how much work there is to be done both across individual levels and at large. I shouldn’t feel so much shame in owning what happened to me at the hands of another. But I do. I am frightened for my kids being bullied at school if anyone finds out and decides to gossip and judge me; I’m terrified people will cancel me as a writer and author, and that I will have to get a “real” job; and most of all, I’m scared that I will be called a fraud. And a liar. And I hate that. For me, and for all my sisters out there.

I don’t ever talk about the traumas I’ve endured- like literally, ever. Not verbally. I haven’t made a peep for almost two decades. I think I tried, back when they first happened, and something didn’t sit right with what medical notes said about what happened to me and what I knew to be true in my core. But my audience made it clear they didn’t believe me, and my recollection of events must be skewed.

Writing was the first time I could process the events that define the mosaic of my life and my core identity. That is why I now dedicate myself to storytelling as a way to heal from trauma. I believe in the power of the creative process to transform even the worst moments of our lives into something meaningful. And my debut novel, The Storyteller’s Daughter, is the product of that metamorphosis. It is the thing I am most proud of professionally. Because it tells my story and that of so many other women, and it does so in a way that rewrites the ending.

From the moment I started sharing my book publicly, I received questions and feedback about how dark and uncomfortable the content is. Some people said it was too much for them and they couldn’t read it because of the blatant references and detailing of assault and abuse. And I totally get and respect that. Unfortunately, I also know those things happen in real life and need to be talked about, because they happened to me. Not all of them—there’s no pentagram carved into my stomach- but that was the creative process intertwining with the catalytic events that gave way to its creation. Real life is not pretty- people do awful things every day, and I must raise my daughter to carry pepper spray and a rape whistle, and always share her location with a friend when going on a date, because of the world we live in. So, I refuse to keep quiet about it.

I was respectful- I called out no names, and I masked all identities- but the topics discussed in The Storyteller’s Daughter are the narrative of so many people’s lives, and they deserve to be illuminated from the shadows. If my work isn’t for you, that is okay, but events such as the Cornell 7 Case illustrate the prevalence of rape, complicity, and power abuse in our culture and society. These happenings continue without survivors and allies coming forward in protest and uniting across shared experiences and grief. I’m tired of people avoiding things because it makes their tummy hurt and they would rather not think about them. I promise you none of us wanted to live them, either, so let’s act instead of sticking our heads in the clouds and letting atrocities continue to happen to our sisters, mothers, and daughters.

People say it’s not real until it happens to them. And they say they would never do something until they do. Life isn’t linear, and human beings are complex- yet women continue to endure acts of violence, dehumanization, and oppression, while being the sole reason for life on this earth. It feels a little backward to me- but most of all, I’m sad that equity isn’t the reality that so many people tell themselves it is.

In an act of defiance and solidarity with my sisters, who have also had a part of them taken by someone who never deserved it, I plan to keep using my past, present, and resources to share these issues and connect with others to move the needle on change. There is no situation in which 57 males should allow a young woman to be used as an object, and yet it happens every day, somewhere. And those same men go on to protect each other and silence their victims. Unfortunately for them, women and I aligned with similar missions are educated, gritty, and tired of being gaslit into believing we’re the crazy ones.

Fucking “free pussy” doesn’t make you a man- it makes you a rapist. And an idiot who views women as objects without value. I would have hoped your Ivy League education included some content regarding the inherent value of all human lives. Or maybe you missed that part while you were dick down in a helpless victim, destroying theirs. And while we’re at it, calling you out for your actions and wanting you held responsible doesn’t make me a cunt, it makes me a concerned citizen with regard for all lifeforms and their rights to freedom and wellbeing.

Furthermore, you call it “free pussy” – but it isn’t. Not for her. While you didn’t have to put forth any effort beyond drugging and lying to her, I assure you she will bear the costs for your actions. For the rest of her life. And her children, and their children will. Because you will cause her psychological trauma and elicit a stress response moving forward that causes epigenetic changes due to cellular adaptations both at and above the genome level from the trauma of being assaulted. I may have only gone to a state school, but I’m smart enough to understand that pathway. She is paying the price, and you are stealing from her. Stealing her sense of safety, her well-being, and her sense of self. So, no, that pussy wasn’t free.

It’s time for a new era- one where we hold men accountable for their actions towards women, and people in general, and in which a trauma informed initiative transpires to support and empower victims. And PS, I’m raising my daughter to be a witch, so she can hex your ass when you come near her with drugged drinks or try to film her being fucked. Like, grow up, boys; you’re gross. And you're literally part of what is wrong with our world.

Follow along with me for more candid thoughts and rhetoric!-

Instagram: @Camicamwrites

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Books: The Storyteller’s Daughter- available on Amazon and KDP